Parshat Vayishlah

NOW DINAH, THE DAUGHTER OF LEAH, WHOM SHE HAD BORNE TO JACOB, WENT OUT TO VISIT THE DAUGHTERS OF THE LAND.

 (Bereishit 34:1)

 

Who is Responsible: Dinah, Leah, Jacob or Shekhem son of Hamor?

Now Dinah, the daughter of Leah, went out - Read this in the light of what Scripture says: All treasures of the king's daughter's are kept within. (Tehillim 45:14).

Rabbi Tossi said: When the woman conceals herself in the house, she is worthy of marrying a high-priest and shall produce high-priests, for it is said All treasures...

(Tanhumah Vayishlah 6)

 

Now Dinah, the daughter of Leah, went out - Was she not Jacob's daughter? Scripture associated her with her mother; just as Leah was out-going, she too was out-going. From where [do we know that Leah was out-going]? For it is written, Leah went out to meet him (Bereishit 30:16).

(Loc. cit.)

 

Let my justness testify for me tomorrow (Bereishit 30:33) - Rabbi Yehudah bar Simon said: It is written, Do not boast of tomorrow (Mishlei 27:1). You said, Let my justness testify for me tomorrow, and on the morrow your daughter went out and was raped, for it is said, Now Dinah, the daughter of Leah, went out.

(Bereishit Rabbah 73:9)

 

Rabbi Shmuel bar Nahman said: Anyone who vows and postpones its fulfillment will eventually come to worshiping idols, performing illicit sexual acts, blood shed, and malicious speech. From whom do you learn this? [We learn] all of them from Jacob. By vowing and postponing the vow's fulfillment, he came to all of these.

Where do we find idolatry? And Jacob told his household: "remove the alien gods... " (Bereishit 35:2).

Where do we find illicit sexual acts? By Dinah, for it is said, Now Dinah went out.

Where do we find bloodshed? For it is said, On the third day, when they were in pain... (34:25).

Where do we find malicious speech? For it is said, And he heard the words of Laban's sons... (31:1)

(Vayikra Rabbah 37:1)

 

 

Dinah's Present Absence

Tamar Gingashvili

Leah's daughter, Dinah, was born to Jacob after his having fathered ten boys with three women. Leah had given birth to Zevulun, and his name expressed both his being a gift as well as her expectation of being honored by Jacob for having given him six sons. Dinah was born after Zevulun. Her name is unexplained, and no mention is made of her serving any role in the wives' contest for Jacob's heart. A short verse informs us: Afterwards, she gave girth to a daughter and called her Dinah (Bereishit 30:21).

The second and final episode in which we come across Dinah in the Torah appears in parashat Vayishlah, in chapter 34. The story is about her, but her voice remains unheard. Many relational epithets are attached to her name in this chapter: Jacob's daughter, maiden, girl, and sister to her brothers. Dinah never appears as an independent personality. Her desires and thoughts are never described, leaving a void to be filled by derashot. In this short article, I would like to trace the issue of control and loss of control in connection with two women who suffered sexual assault, namely, Dinah and Tamar.

Dinah is the girl/maiden who appears as Dinah, the daughter of Leah, whom she had borne to Jacob, who went out to visit the daughters of the land. The plain meaning of the text implies that the only girl in a family of boys longed for the friendship of girls her own age. Shekhem son of Hamor, son of the sovereign of the land of the Hivites, takes her and tries to rape her. If we read carefully, it is clear that she did not consent, that she froze-up and became thing-like; he lay her by force, hurting her (34:2). Shekhem "lays her" (shokhev otah) and does not "lay with her" (shohkev itah). That is how he hurt her - through violent sexual assault. It seems from the adjoining verses that the attempted rape was broken off, since it says, Being strongly drawn to Dinah daughter of Jacob, and in love with the maiden, he spoke to the maiden tenderly (34:3). Shekhem encounters Dinah's inexperience and lack of understanding of relations between the sexes. He discovers that Dinah is a maiden/girl. This discovery seems to have amazed him, causing him to fall in love with her, so that he desisted and spoke to her tenderly. He went to his father and asked Hamor, sovereign of the land of the Hivites to take for me this girl for a wife (34:4) Internally, he thinks of Dinah as a maiden, but she does remain a girl. He asks his father for this girl, Dinah unspoiled.

Dinah's father, Jacob, hears that his daughter has been defiled but remains silent until the brothers return from their shepherding. Jacob has heard a rumor that Dinah has been defiled, i.e., raped. Dinah did not return home, remaining in Shekhem's house, either kidnapped, or perhaps of her own free will. (Verse 26 makes it clear that Dinah had not returned home.) Jacob and the brothers appear as a single party to the negotiations over Shekhem's request for Dinah's hand, as is evidenced by the use of the plural possessive, my son Hamor longs for your [plural] daughter (34:8). The brothers take control; Jacob is silent, not present as a father. The brothers answer in his place and tell Hamor and Shekhem, We cannot... give our sister to a man with a foreskin (34:14). It is reasonable that they act as her patrons because she is a young only daughter. From the chapter's continuation we see that Dinah remains in Shekhem's house. Her brothers do not ask to see her, they do not inquire as to her well-being, they do not seek to clarify exactly what happened to her, and they are completely uninterested in what she thinks or wants - she is never asked. The brothers hold control. They negotiate with an eye towards restoring the family's good name and obtaining vengeance. Jacob's sons answered Shekhem... with guile because he had defiled their sister Dinah (34:13). Shimon and Levy killed every male, including Shekhem and Hamor, and took Dinah from Shekhem's house (34:25-6). It is reasonable to assume that they saw themselves as Dinah's rescuers. Afterwards, Jacob's sons came and pillaged and took captive everything and everyone left in the town (34:27-8). The Torah never tells us what became of Dinah after the sexual assault and her brothers' deed. As has been said, the midrashim offer answers, but I would like to stay with the plain meaning of the text.

In Devarim 22:28-9 it is written: If a man finds a virgin maiden who was not betrothed, took her and lay with her... in consequence of his having hurt her, she shall be his wife, he shall never be able to send her away. The law refers to the seduction of a virgin maiden, even if the act was consensual - lay with her, rather than laid her, which we saw by Dinah. Seduction is defined as harm. It also counts as a violent act, since men are responsible for stopping outbreaks of fornication. The Torah wants to create an opportunity for the rehabilitation of the seduced maiden's personal status, for she has undergone harm for which she may have to pay a weighty price. In a society which holds virginity to be a necessary requirement for honorable marriage, she may become a deserted woman or a harlot.

In Davor Kosashvili's film, "Gift from Heaven" - a poor movie, in my opinion - we are told of a girl whose family suspects she might have been raped in the course of a rather un-amusing kidnapping. The family and community force the girl to marry her abductor. The girl is never asked to give her version of the events, nor to make known her own wishes. She undergoes an additional rape at the hands of her own mother, who wants to inspect her virginity. She finds herself forced to marry the abductor, who did not in fact rape her, in order to keep her good name intact. Everything that happens to the girl reflects the wishes of the family and of the community. The good of the girl herself - of the only person involved who has actually suffered - is not taken into account, and her voice is unheard. The family and accepted societal norms force the girl to remain alone with the double trauma and psychological torture she has suffered.

David's daughter Tamar, sister to Avshalom (II Samuel, chapter 13) is described as a beautiful young virgin who was raped by her brother Amnon after he developed an obsessive attraction to her. Amnon is driven to distraction by the thought of her being a sexually unavailable virgin: Amnon was so distraught because of his sister Tamar that he became sick; for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible for Amnon to do anything to her (verse 2). Following the advice of Yehonadav, the son of David's brother Shimah, he asks his father, "Let Tamar my sister come and prepare a couple of cakes before me, and let her bring them to me" (v. 6). It is reasonable to assume that David understood Amnon's inclinations, but could not imagine how terrible his goals were. In contrast to Dinah, whose voice is not heard, once the atmosphere of seduction and sexual extortion is established, the book of Samuel has Tamar appear as a full human presence who is quoted directly. On the one hand, she honors the request of her father and brother, but on the other hand, she stands up magnificently to Amnon, speaking with the voice of reason, asking that he have mercy on them both and suggesting alternatives. But Amnon would not listen to her; he overpowered her and laid her by force (v. 14). He related to her as an object, holding her by force and laying her. She was nothing but a body to him, not a person enjoying independent will and status. Amnon's behavior was atrociously violent. Afterwards, he forcibly removed her from his room, treating her mercilessly despite her pleas. Tamar went screaming. Her brother Avshalom met her, understood what had happened, and told her, "For the present, sister, keep quiet about it; he is your brother. Don't brood over the matter" (v. 20), and Tamar kept her silence. The incident troubled David greatly, and it is reasonable to assume that he did not believe his son would do such a thing. Tamar is left alone with her trauma - And Tamar remained in her brother Avshalom's house, forlorn (v. 20). Tamar's life was erased and she became a forlorn desert. Avshalom took over control from Tamar, and by asking her to remain silent, he took away her power and her ability to see to her own security and welfare. He made her entirely dependent upon him, largely causing her forlornness. Avshalom was unable to forgive Amnon or to listen to his sister. Relations within the family are unhealthy following a traumatic event. Two years after the rape, Avshalom murdered Amnon.

It is also true today that most women who suffer sexual assault keep quiet or are kept quiet about it. They are left alone with their trauma and their voices are usually not heard. The most important lesson to be learned from the stories of Dinah and Tamar is that we must not take control out of the hands of assault victims. Return of control requires that we develop the ability to listen and act only in accordance with the women's own requests, even if that means that we must remain quiet and inactive. The victims know what is best for them and how strong they are. It is therefore important to turn to help centers, and refer victims to them, in order to benefit from the counseling and help which they offer both to victims as well as to those close to them. In that way, it will be possible to restore control to them and create a situation of basic security and the ability not to remain alone with the trauma.

Tamar Gingashvili is in charge of the religious sector in the Help Center for Victims of Sexual Assault in Tel Aviv.

The Center offers assistance to women 24 hours a day over the telephone at 1202. Those interested in educational volunteering in the religious sector may call Tamar at 0524-311894.

 

 

And Jacob was Much Afraid, and it Troubled Him: There is no Victory through War

And Jacob was much afraid, and it troubled him (Bereishit 32:8) - Rabbi Yehudah said in the name of Rabbi Ilayi: It does not say yirah (feared) or tzara (trouble), rather vayiyrah - that he should not kill, vayeitzer lo - that he not be killed. He said, "If he overcomes me, he shall kill me, and if I overcome him, I shall kill him". This is [the meaning of the doubled phrase] vayiyrah - that he not kill, vayeitzer lo - that he not kill.

(Bereishit Rabbah 76)

 

And a Man Wrestled with Him Until Daybreak

And a man wrestled with him: Jacob was not the attacker, rather his opponent was… - Jacob only fights defensive wars.

(R. S. R. Hirsch on Bereishit 32:25)

 

The Dinah Affair: an Ethical Approach

Akhartem oti [You have brought trouble on me]: By shedding blood needlessly. He uses the term akhirah, as is used in reference to someone who sullies [okher] wine with its yeast, so you have sullied me for those who dwell in the land, defaming me in that they will say, "They did evil to those who were at peace with them."

(Rabbeinu Behayeiy on Bereishit 34:30).

 

Now many people may ask: "But how did the righteous sons of Jacob commit this deed, spilling innocent blood?" The Rabbi [RaMBaM] answered in his Book of Judges (Hilkhot Melakhim 9:14), saying that "sons of Noah" are commanded concerning certain laws, and thus they are required to appoint judges in each and every district to give judgment concerning the six commandments which are obligatory upon all mankind. "And a Noahide who transgresses one of them is subject to the death penalty by the sword. If he sees a person transgressing one of these seven laws and does not bring him to trial for a capital crime, he who saw him is subject to the same death-penalty. It was on account of this that the people of Shekhem had incurred the death-penalty because Shekhem committed an act of robbery and they saw and knew of it, but they did not bring him to trial."

But these words do not appear to me to be correct for if so, or father Jacob should have been the first to obtain the merit of causing their death, and if he was afraid of them, why was he angry at his sons and why did he curse their wrath a long time after that and punish them by dividing them and scattering them in Israel? Were they not meritorious, fulfilling a commandment and trusting in God Who saved them?

In my opinion, the meaning of the laws which the Rabbis have counted among their seven Noahide commandments is not just that they are to appoint judges in each and every district, but He commanded them concerning the laws of theft, overcharge, wronging, and a hired man's wages; the laws of guardians of property, forceful violation of a woman, seduction, principles of damage and wounding a fellowman... And it is also included in this commandment that they appoint judges for each and every city, just as Israel was commanded to do, but if they failed to do so they are free of the death-penalty since this is a positive precept of theirs [and failing to fulfill a positive precept does not incur the death-penalty]... Moreover, why does the Rabbi [RaMBaM] have to seek to establish their guilt? Were not the people of Shekhem and all seven nations idol worshippers, perpetrators of unclean acts, and practitioners of all things that are abominable to God?... However, it was not the responsibility of Jacob and his sons to bring them to justice.

(RaMBaN on Bereishit 39:13, Chavel translation)

 

Jacob's two sons, Shimon and Levi: The word two is superfluous... it comes to teach us that although they united in great wrath to destroy a city and its inhabitants, and also united to enter themselves into great danger, in any case they were two, that is to say that they bore different motivations that ignited this conflagration. One of them was driven by human motivations of jealousy for the honor of their father's house, which brings about a fire like this which is, as is known, a strange fire. The other acted out of zealousness for God, free of any [personal] interest or desire. This is the flame of the Lord. However, one must be very cautious of this fire as well, in ascertaining its appropriate time and place. Without this [caution] it causes much damage. Our father Jacob mentioned both motivations in his rebuke, and rejected the superior fire as well, as will become clear in parashat Vayehi.

(Ha-Amek Davar, Bereishit 34:25)